While the daughter of a dismissive mother suffers because she’s ignored and can end up caught in a cycle of behaviors meant to elicit her mother’s attention—either highly constructive or destructive or both—the enmeshed daughter disappears in the hot glare of her mother’s attention. This daughter lacks a sense of self because her mother only sees her daughter as an extension of herself, and observes no boundaries. The way out of this especially tangled relationship is very difficult and singular because even though the daughter may feel as though she’s choked by the connection, she may also feel loved. It’s a thorny paradox.

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