For some, the journey out of childhood is a long one, involving the healing of deep wounds to the self. These wounds are the result of feeling unloved, marginalized or dismissed, or constantly criticized or belittled by the person on the planet who is supposed to love you, your mother. Many daughters—and I include myself in that number—stumble over the word healing, which means to make whole or sound, free of injury or ailment. The word raises expectations that are difficult to realize. “Why is the healing so slow, so unreliable?” one woman emails me. “I think I’m over it and then something triggers my feelings and I am so not over it.” “I’ve had no contract with my mother for three years,” another writes,” And while it’s certainly better being free of her, I’m still hurting.”
