Source: Photograph by Sebastian Pichler. Copyright free. Unsplash.com

One of the questions I asked myself again and again, especially during my protracted divorce, was how I managed to choose such a person as a partner and how did I not see who he was. It’s not exactly an original question since the 20/20 hindsight you acquire after a relationship is over—the field of red flags that look like poppies in late spring, the click of the puzzle pieces as they fall in to place, the recall of the oh-so-obvious behaviors—is enough to make any thinking woman or man descend into self-blame.

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